Port St. Lucie, Florida, March 13, 2010 — Healing, change and confronting the infidelity and cheating spouse takes on power and effectiveness, once the myths and common misunderstandings about infidelity and marital affairs are embraced.
According to Dr. Huizenga, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice since 1981 and specializing in infidelity, the only pain and agony that comes close to the pain of infidelity is the death of a child. The reasons for the intensity of this pain can be traced in part to subtle cultural injunctions and perceptions about love, relationships, sex, love, marriage and infidelity that we all consume from an early age.
He uses the strong language that we were brainwashed about infidelity. A person encountering a cheating spouse and its pain, must first counter distorted latent concepts and messages that our society unknowingly sends and condones.
Once a person reframes his/her perception of infidelity, comfort and relief from the agony emerges and that person is then, and only then, capable of confronting the cheating spouse and infidelity effectively and powerfully.
Dr. Huizenga outlines 5 specific misconceptions about infidelity that are embraced by many, including the therapeutic community.
A first misconception: Infidelity means that one person has “fallen out of love” with his/her spouse and fell “in love” with someone else. Dr. Huizenga states that this is incorrect. Infidelity has nothing to do with love.
A second misconception: Infidelity means something was wrong or lacking in the marriage. This theory, according to Dr. Huizenga is espoused in much of the therapeutic community – of which he is a part. His position: What was lacking in a marriage (or the wounded spouse) had nothing to do with the cheating spouse’s decision to have an affair.
A third misconception: Infidelity is despicable and is to be roundly condemned. Dr. Huizenga believe that infidelity is subtly encouraged in our society. A survey indicated a high percentage of men envy Tiger Woods. The media also makes a great deal of money relaying the infidelities of celebrities and the famous, indicating an area of extreme interest.
A fourth misconception: There must be something wrong with a husband or wife if the spouse strays. The faithful spouse must at some level be defective or have a problem. Dr. Huizenga argues that the problem lies not with the faithful spouse but the cheating spouse.
A filth misconception. The faithful spouse is the victim and the cheating spouse (who is in love) is off having a great time. “The First Step in Surviving Infidelity – from basket case to making your cheating spouse blink” explains this reality that the cheating spouse is the true victim, not the faithful spouse.
Once a person begins to see infidelity for what it really is – an act of temporary insanity – a person feels relief and is comforted.
Then a person moves from being a Basket Case to doing exactly what one needs to do to survive and then thrive through the infidelity experience.
For more information on “The First Step in Surviving Infidelity – From Basket Case to Making Your Cheating Spouse Blink” contact Dr. Huizenga.
Contact:
Dr. Robert Huizenga
616.821.3928
http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com
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